Seperation Anxiety

So this summer has been full and busy. We never stay in one place for long, we are always on the move, and there are new people around us constantly. That is the nature of summer in our world! I was unsure of how Quinnlyn would handle it, because constant change is a hard thing for kids - they thrive off of routine and a sense of "normal". But she is such a champ. She just rolls with it, and is happy with whatever we are doing. She has become more brave as the camp weeks go on - she engages more with the campers and actually wants to participate in the games, rather than shy away. She has also become so much more vocal this summer! Her vocabulary is unreal, and she is talking up a storm. She loves going to Nannie and Papas house and seems to like the road trips we take. It makes me very proud of her!! However, I am seeing the toll that this is all taking on her when it comes to nap and bedtime. She has become clingy when its bedtime and has stopped going to bed so easily on her own like she used to. Instead, she wants to sleep with me, or else she wants me to stay in the room with her until she is sleeping. And she wakes up in the night screaming and wants me and clings to me when I go to her. It has made for some frustrating bedtimes! (naps too, but they don't seem to be quite as bad). It's really hard to sit with her for up to an hour, when she used to just lay down in her bed and go to sleep no problem. But kids are ever changing and always going through new stages so I have learned that I can never get comfortable in the stage we are in, because it is certain to change :) I think she is suffering from a little bit of seperation anxiety. There is constant change happening around her, and she needs to know that I am steady, and not leaving her. So when my frustrations run high, I remind myself of that, and of the turmoil she must feel inside and it makes me calmer and more patient. So I do whatever it takes for right now for her to get sleep (and for me to get sleep! That often means in the night that we just cave and bring her to bed with us, because we don't have the time or energy right now to be up with her all night long, fighting to keep her in her own bed). Once the fall hits, we will have to work on sleep once again, but we will do that when we are back in our own home and the routine is steady and she knows that both Jon and I are around.

Here she is one day last week during nap time. Such sleepy eyes, clinging to my neck as I lay with her. She recently has figured out how to escape the crib, so when she's really worked up, its just easier to lay her in bed at nap time and let her sleep there.

This was the night that she got out of her crib at Tim and Lois' house. I stayed in the room with her until she was sleeping (or so I thought!). She was in the crib and I was sitting on the bed (if Im in the room, sitting on the bed and the door is open and theres some sort of light on, she does okay) and it took a while, but finally she stopped moving and her breathing became rhythmic. I went outside to talk on the phone (talking to Luke... such a good big brother. I called because I was going to talk to Care, but she wasn't home and Luke convinced me to talk to him instead. He gave great advice and listened well. Funny how God knows just what we need, and I needed a big brother to listen to me and love me). Then Calea comes out and she's holding Quinny - when I ask her why, she says that Quinny came screaming down the stairs, really really mad, obviously escaping the crib! Sheesh!! Calea said she would calm her down and sit with her until I was done, and when I came in a while later, this is what I found! Calea and Lois said that it took a bit to calm her down, but once she was still, Calea started rubbing her belly and she fell right asleep. She just needed to be with people and to be calmed down. Oh Quinnybear. I love you and it hurts me that sleep is a scary thing for you these days. I pray that these days are ones that are just part of a new, short phase, and not part of a new normal for you. Sleep is good, and your body needs it!

I saw this and it instantly hit home for me. I need to be the calming force in her life. When she's worked up, it doesn't help to also get worked up. I cannot share her chaos. Instead, I need to continue striving for grace and patience needed to be her mommy - a safe, calm place for her to share her overwhelming emotions. I love you Quinnlyn, and I will keep praying hard that God works in me to shape me into the mama you need and that I keep learning how to love you well.