Cute Friends and Better Choices

This lovely lady watched Quinny for us last Monday night while we went out for dinner with the permanent staff to say 'good-bye' to Kelly who has resigned her position at camp. Nice night, nice to see the staff and have a yummy dinner! Sarah was awesome and played with Quinny and we gave her a gift bag full of goodies that she likes as a 'thank-you' - Q was most excited to give her the bag, in hopes that Sarah would share her fuzzy peaches with her haha (she did). It's nice to leave Q for two hours (something I realized that we haven't done in a few months) and come back to her full of smiles. 

She was sad to leave! That made me happy. It also made me happy that it was Sarah who watched her - our relationship has had a few bumps and we now have a deep respect and appreciation for the other, which I find amazing. She is such a great girl and we love her!

Park date with her BFF! We don't see these guys nearly enough these days with the busyness of spring! So nice to spend a morning together in the sunshine

Those dimples of hers when she smiles a big, real smile are just heart melting. They get me everytime.

Notice her blankets? I asked her if she would go please make her bed, not totally sure what would happen. She says "Oh sure Mom!" and runs off, and I find this a few minutes later when she yells "Mom! I'm done in here!" She was so proud of herself - under that Frozen blanket is another blanket that she pulled up over the pillows all neatly as well. What a big girl! (and yes naked, because she sleeps naked. Getting PJs on this kid is pretty much impossible)

On Thusday Ady called and FaceTimed with Quinny - they were so cute chatting away to each other. Q grabbed a book and tried to 'read' Ads a story, and Ady was running around showing Q how she can be an airplane haha! Such cute little buddies.

Family workout time! I've been struggling a bit lately - still on top of workouts, but not feeling as though I am giving them my "all" - just feeling run down and tired. And my eating has still been good, but I have been a bit more relaxed with it, which leads to not always awesome choices. So all around I've been feeling a bit discouraged, so I am thankful for a family who is eager to workout with me and motivates me to get going!

Jon told me that I needed to take pictures in order to feel better, since I have been feeling down. He said there is a change, and I just don't see it. He took pictures of me at the start of this challenge 8 weeks ago that I never looked at, because I was embarrassed by them and didn't want to see them. I am still embarrassed, but wanted to put them up here, because I have nothing to feel ashamed of. This is my body, and I am who I am and that is good enough. I am working hard to re focus myself and re train myself to make better choices so that those choices become habits. I want to be healthy and strong, and that is not something to be embarrassed of. So here is my picture from 8 weeks ago of my back, and the picture now. My favorite change is my bum - it's higher and harder, and that superficially makes me happy haha!! It's been quite the journey for me.

First Wildside Weekend and a Church Performance!

This is the view I get to look at as I walk out the sliding doors of the trailer at Wildside. Paradise. This place is very much our happy place. We had deep cleaned it all last week, and some last things to scrub and get ready for spring, so we decided to go up and spend a night. Jon was out caving all day with a group from PCS, so Quinny and I drove up and met him at dinnertime. I had marinated chicken and corn on the cob all ready to go!

When we went camping to Little Qualicum a few weeks ago, Jon hung Q's new Frozen flashlight from the roof of the tent so that she had a light when she went to bed. We cleaned out her room and I set up her bed and everything, and she stayed back there and played and organized. I could hear her pacing around and grunting and saying "ugh! oh no! Come on!" and other things like that. I asked her what was the matter, and she came out and had the saddest face on and told me that she couldn't find anywhere to hang her special light. She wanted to hang it up like she did in the tent. So cute! She went and asked her Daddy to help her, and so he found some string and put a nail in to hold the light. What a good Daddy! She was SO excited!

She wanted to bring her Sky and Everest (paw patrol pups) and her Hawaiian Chicken with to camp because those are her favorite things right now. She took them back there and lined them all up on her bed all neatly. So typical haha! See the cool light hanging? She was thrilled about the whole set up

Looking out the window at the sweet view that she has! I am SO excited for the summer with this girl! This is going to be our best one yet, I have a feeling :)

This is her second cob of corn. Yep, second. After eating an entire chicken breast also. This kid loves corn on the cob, she devours it!

After dinner fire! We love so much that the Denningers are up at camp! Quinny loves Maelle (she calls her "My Me-elle) and follows her around everywhere, and Maelle is such a sweet girl and lets her. The Burdges came over on their bikes and joined the party. After the families all left and Q was sleeping, Brad and Lisa came over - I love how much Q loves them, but it was really lovely to hang out with them just the four of us! It was a really great evening spent with good friends all around.

Happy camp friends

On Saturday morning we had a great breakfast and drank coffee and cleaned the rest of the trailer - so much scrubbing to get that mold smell out! I'm not sure it will ever really be gone, but at least it's much better! We (well okay Jon, not me) put these little things in the trailer that suck the moisture up over the winter and it really did help. The trailer is in much better shape this spring than it was last winter! But there is still so much more upgrading to do in that place, and I like fixing it up. It's a cute little place that I love. Anyways, Jacob came up with his kids (well 2 of the three since Ben is a newborn :) to hang out for a bit and to see what he all needs to build next weekend and make a list of materials. SO great that we have talented friends who are willing to give Wildside their expertise and skills for free! The kids had a great time running around playing together. Quinny has so many great little friends! Gabe and Kathleen are too cute!

After they left, we had a picnic lunch and then jumped in a canoe to paddle around and let Q try out her new paddle! We bought it for her because it fits toddlers and then can grow with her! Last summer she loved canoe day and was very into paddling, so we thought she would love this. We were right! She was on cloud nine! She took paddling very seriously and worked very hard! Not long after we took this, she said she wanted to sit on the seat at the front. So I switched her spots and sat in on the bottom right behind her and she was in the front. Pretty funny! She makes her dad proud!

Our girl at the front paddling her heart out. We did keep telling her how to hold it properly, but she kept reverting back to this. We will work on that! But she did so great!

Love adventures with this guy and his love for the outdoors.

Q napped and Jon and I played a game and chatted - so relaxing and perfect! We were planning on heading home before dinner, but Q had a super long nap. So we went into Lake Cow and decided to go to J&V's for a pizza and a milkshake - treat day! (i actually had a wicked stomach ache after and could only drink half my milkshake... these treats almost aren't even worth it!). Quinny was being so hyper and silly and making us laugh.

Cute girl. I love these two so very much. We had such a fun day. I have the best family

Jon did music again on Sunday with some of our youth (and steve) and they did great!

 Jen and Jon have been practicing with the kids actions to the song "My Lighthouse", and as Jon and his band led that song as the last song, the kids were up front singing along and doing all the actions. It was supposed to be all the Grades1-6's up there, but Jen asked Quinny if she wanted to be up there too, and she was so excited about it! She loves this song and knows all the words. So she knew that she had to focus and be a good listener if she wanted to go up with all the big kids (Alistar was allowed to go up there too, so the two toddlers are standing beside each other, helping each other out, but he's hiding his cute curly haired head in the picture!). She did SO GOOD! She followed along to all the actions and even sang the words! Her first ever performance!

 It was totally adorable and I was so proud of her! She often gets timid in a crowd, so it was so neat to see her up there, having fun and being with the big kids! I so wish that we went to church with some family so that they could have seen her too. Ady was sitting beside me and kept clapping along and yelling "Tinny! Tinny!" haha!

 Sitting very still and quietly while Jon prayed over the kids and dismissed them to go downstairs. She is so good at following directions, and it makes my heart proud! You did good, kid!! And even if you hadn't followed along, I would have still been so proud of you for even just getting up there!

 We decided after church to head to Victoria again just for the afternoon to see Tim and Lois. We had them all to ourselves, which was a rare treat!! I love when everyone is around and its busy and loud, but it was really nice to have some one on one time with them as well! And this way they got concentrated time with Quinny which is awesome. It was a chilly day so no swimming in the pool, but Jon and Q and I went in the hot tub for a long time while Lois sat beside and chatted with us. As we were prepping dinner, I took this because it made me laugh - Lois cuts cucumbers and sets them out, and Q sneaks them off the plate to eat.

 After dinner walk up to the reservoir and park. "Papa, you hold my hand please?" she asks so sweetly. Papa agrees and away they go hand in hand. Such a sweet bond between them

 Now holding Daddy's hand - I had to take this of the back of her head. Those curls! They never cease to amaze me! She has the most incredible hair I have ever seen on a toddler! (or really any adult!)

 He is such a kid at heart and just makes everyone laugh. Here he is getting his mom to push him. She agrees without even blinking an eye and just says "no underducks!" haha! love this family. 

 Laughing with his dad. Jon has such great parents.

 As we were walking home, this girl of course wanted to stop and go see the chickens at Mike and Jane's. She loves going to visit these chickens. I find it so funny that these animals have become her favorite. If only we lived somewhere with more land and could raise chiekens! After she said good-bye to them, Mike came out with a green egg for her! One of the chickens lays eggs that are green all the time he said, and he let her take it home, which totally made her night. She was so gentle and careful with it. It was a really low key and lovely Sunday.

A Really Fun Week

 Catching up on last week! Mary and I took two little girls out for a 'bike ride' last Monday and it was very slow going haha

Mostly because it turned into this with Q wanting to push Ady herself, which meant that I had to carry her bike. They were both being silly about walking and whiney... needless to say the bike/walk didn't last long! It ended with all of us eating cheese and fruit at the end, much happier to sit in the grass and eat and play haha

Raquel sent me a very thoughtful Mother's Day package in the mail. She knows how deep my love for Harry Potter is, and how I have loved him for pretty much my whole life haha! She knows I'm always looking for things to do to keep busy during boring shifts at work, so she said when she saw this she felt that it was perfect. So thoughtful! And she was right! I was VERY excited about it. I also got a new thirty-one bag! Woot!

Mary and I had plans to go for dinner with Dana and Dixie after work, so Jon watched Ady until Andrew was off work. David was in town with Chris Easter, who is the new male Wildside guide for this year! David is passing the torch. Jon had them both for dinner while I was out, and he said it was awesome, with these guys playing with the girls the whole time, and talking about camp in between. He thinks Chris is going to be a great fit this summer for the program. Sweet!

Q is taking Henrik for a walk, the only way he will come haha!

Jen sent me this updated pic of Micah - oh my goodness, he is SO beautiful!!! Like really truly a beautiful baby! Love when I get to catch up with my Jenny girl

Tuesdays mean dinner at the church! Eating our taco salad on the deck while Jon runs around getting last minute things set up for youth group

Hunger Games! This game is my baby. I have spent years with camp and church perfecting it and making it so fun. Jon got me to set it up and explain the rules. So fun!! I love the start, watching them run to the cornicopia (Jon's car this day) and attack each other

Gabi was surrounded and sensed that she was about to go down, stuck in this corner. So all of a sudden she whips out all these weapons and says "come closer and get me! I dare you!" oh man, this girl is awesome!! Love the intensity

We put a tag on her and she was a tracker jacker, getting kids when they were unsuspecting. She mostly just ran around where Jon went, but she was so happy doing it. She loves participating and being in on the action, and I love letting her, as long as she is following the rules and being respectful.

Ashley! She is such a good youth leader. And an even better friend

It always makes me laugh to see Jon in action. He gets right in there, and is energetic and fun and chases kids down. He is so so so good at what he does.

Zonked totally out and snoring loud after that busy night!! So small in her big girl bed

We had a bunch of running around to do in town, so we of course made a Starbucks run. Cake pop for her, skinny caramel mach with sugar free syrup for me. I can't cut out the latte, but I can attempt to make it slightly healthier haha

Outside doing gymnastics on the rocks. I got the best videos of her doing this. She was throwing her head back and being such a performer and jumping around. She is so full of energy!

I had my first physio appointment on Thursday and it went long and then we needed to grocery shop - so we got sushi while shopping (they make it fresh there and it is really good!) and another Starbucks and sat at the coffee shop at Save-On-Foods and had lunch. She is such a big girl, and so easy to do stuff with! She sat for my hour long appointment in the room with me and was quiet and just played by herself and was so good. Quinny, you are at such an awesome stage right now, and I love it! Your big goofy smile here says it all. Silly, adorable, easy and eats everything. How I got so lucky and get to be your mom is still such a mystery!

A Very Special Mother's Day

Jon was doing musical church on Mother's Day, so he was gone bright and early. Quinny and I put loud music on and danced together and got ready for church. Lots of giggles out her - she is such a fun kid. Amanda texted me bright and early and her message really touched me. I like putting these messages on here, so that I remember them. This text from her meant so much, because she has a little one up in heaven - Sophia was a twin, and Bailey didn't make it. Tragic and heart breaking, yet she has walked this path with so much grace and she is an incredible mama to Soph. I really appreciated this text from her. 

And then my lovely Shelby wrote this on facebook and I was also so touched by this! She just loves her nieces SO much, and I love her for that.

I know, it seems like I'm pumping my own tires here, and I promise that is not my intention haha! I just so often question how I am doing with this whole mom thing, and I second guess and doubt myself constantly... so having these sweet messages to remember on those days is a good reminder! My very thoughtful husband put this on his instagram. How lucky am I that I have a man who loves me this much. Amazing.

As we were getting ready for church, my heart was a little heavy. June 6th just looms closer and closer and my heart just so badly wishes our baby would be arriving then. Mostly I am good, and I am moving on, but days like Mother's Day are a reminder of who is not here. A friend sent me this and it made me cry. Even more so because Annette and Roy were in Nanaimo for the weekend and we had made plans to get together that evening. Thinking of them, and the pain they have to live with with Alex no longer being here with them just made my heart hurt so bad. 20 years is not enough years for a mom to have her baby. To give one back is just the worst kind of pain. I hugged Q lots that morning and she seemed to know that I needed it, because she hugged me back and let me cuddle her and told me she loved me. My sweet, sensitive, loving girl.

After church we all came home together and Jon told me to "go upstairs and relax" while he made lunch. When I came down 20 minutes later, he asked if I had a good rest... I responded with "yep! Sure did! I folded all the laundry and put it away without little hands 'helping' and unfolding everything!" I was totally serious, and thought that was a perfect way to spend 20 free minutes, but the look on his face was priceless!! He just shook his head and said "Oh Mel. I love you and your quirks". Umm thanks! haha. I was then gifted by my girl with this sweet tumbler that I have had my eye on and the sweetest homemade card!! Simple and sweet and thoughtful, exactly what I want!

After naptime for the little one, we headed into Chemainus to meet Annette, Roy and Daniel for dinner. Daniel was in a football camp for the weekend, and Annette asked us to get together while they were out here! I was more than happy to go see them. My mom and Annette have known each other since middle school. Mom and I actually lived with Annette and Roy for a little while when I was young. These are people who I have literally known my entire life and love like family. After dinner we headed for ice cream and then down to Kin Beach

Being with her on Mother's Day was so special. To hug her and tell her that I loved her, and have her play with Q and see the joy that gave her... it was just special in a bittersweet way. The hole that Alex has left is so huge and so wide, you can see it all over her face. This holiday is a raw one for her, the wound that never heals is so tender and exposed. Yet she is still optimistic and quick to laugh and so gentle hearted. I was so touched to spend the evening with them. I love this family very very much. 

I took this and then showed her and she said "aww thats nice. Always someone missing. I'll never get used to being a family of three". Heartbreaking. But then she smiled at me, and hugged me and thanked for me taking it, and said that Alex would have loved it out here and she wished that him and Brandon could have taken a trip out here together. I wish that too.

We walked along the beach and found sand dollars and shells and just talked easily and laughed lots. It was really nice

Quinnlyn really took to Roy, and they were fast buddies, which was so cute. Daniel was chatty as always, telling us all sorts of stories from his football tryouts. It was so nice to see them!!!

Big hugs good-bye! They told us to come out to the acreage next time we are home and they will let Q go on the tractor - we will definately take them up on that! She would love it. And she really liked hanging out with these guys and seemed to sense that they were a special family that meant a lot to us. Happy Mother's Day Annette. You are a beautiful and loved Mama by both your boys. I think Alex was hanging out with our baby today, both being held near by the King, happy that we were together.