Jon was doing musical church on Mother's Day, so he was gone bright and early. Quinny and I put loud music on and danced together and got ready for church. Lots of giggles out her - she is such a fun kid. Amanda texted me bright and early and her message really touched me. I like putting these messages on here, so that I remember them. This text from her meant so much, because she has a little one up in heaven - Sophia was a twin, and Bailey didn't make it. Tragic and heart breaking, yet she has walked this path with so much grace and she is an incredible mama to Soph. I really appreciated this text from her.
And then my lovely Shelby wrote this on facebook and I was also so touched by this! She just loves her nieces SO much, and I love her for that.
I know, it seems like I'm pumping my own tires here, and I promise that is not my intention haha! I just so often question how I am doing with this whole mom thing, and I second guess and doubt myself constantly... so having these sweet messages to remember on those days is a good reminder! My very thoughtful husband put this on his instagram. How lucky am I that I have a man who loves me this much. Amazing.
As we were getting ready for church, my heart was a little heavy. June 6th just looms closer and closer and my heart just so badly wishes our baby would be arriving then. Mostly I am good, and I am moving on, but days like Mother's Day are a reminder of who is not here. A friend sent me this and it made me cry. Even more so because Annette and Roy were in Nanaimo for the weekend and we had made plans to get together that evening. Thinking of them, and the pain they have to live with with Alex no longer being here with them just made my heart hurt so bad. 20 years is not enough years for a mom to have her baby. To give one back is just the worst kind of pain. I hugged Q lots that morning and she seemed to know that I needed it, because she hugged me back and let me cuddle her and told me she loved me. My sweet, sensitive, loving girl.
After church we all came home together and Jon told me to "go upstairs and relax" while he made lunch. When I came down 20 minutes later, he asked if I had a good rest... I responded with "yep! Sure did! I folded all the laundry and put it away without little hands 'helping' and unfolding everything!" I was totally serious, and thought that was a perfect way to spend 20 free minutes, but the look on his face was priceless!! He just shook his head and said "Oh Mel. I love you and your quirks". Umm thanks! haha. I was then gifted by my girl with this sweet tumbler that I have had my eye on and the sweetest homemade card!! Simple and sweet and thoughtful, exactly what I want!
After naptime for the little one, we headed into Chemainus to meet Annette, Roy and Daniel for dinner. Daniel was in a football camp for the weekend, and Annette asked us to get together while they were out here! I was more than happy to go see them. My mom and Annette have known each other since middle school. Mom and I actually lived with Annette and Roy for a little while when I was young. These are people who I have literally known my entire life and love like family. After dinner we headed for ice cream and then down to Kin Beach
Being with her on Mother's Day was so special. To hug her and tell her that I loved her, and have her play with Q and see the joy that gave her... it was just special in a bittersweet way. The hole that Alex has left is so huge and so wide, you can see it all over her face. This holiday is a raw one for her, the wound that never heals is so tender and exposed. Yet she is still optimistic and quick to laugh and so gentle hearted. I was so touched to spend the evening with them. I love this family very very much.
I took this and then showed her and she said "aww thats nice. Always someone missing. I'll never get used to being a family of three". Heartbreaking. But then she smiled at me, and hugged me and thanked for me taking it, and said that Alex would have loved it out here and she wished that him and Brandon could have taken a trip out here together. I wish that too.
We walked along the beach and found sand dollars and shells and just talked easily and laughed lots. It was really nice
Quinnlyn really took to Roy, and they were fast buddies, which was so cute. Daniel was chatty as always, telling us all sorts of stories from his football tryouts. It was so nice to see them!!!
Big hugs good-bye! They told us to come out to the acreage next time we are home and they will let Q go on the tractor - we will definately take them up on that! She would love it. And she really liked hanging out with these guys and seemed to sense that they were a special family that meant a lot to us. Happy Mother's Day Annette. You are a beautiful and loved Mama by both your boys. I think Alex was hanging out with our baby today, both being held near by the King, happy that we were together.
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