The sunday night after Madi's birthday was a REALLY long night, and I only slept for maybe an hour or less. Q spiked a fever and started coughing really hard... but the cough sounded tight, and like a barking noise. Then she started wheezing and kept looking at me with huge, panic filled eyes. It was awful. I rubbed her back and calmed her down and kept bringing her water and watching her fall into restless sleep. Jon got up at like 3 (he was sleeping in the spare room, because we didn't know how sick she was going to be, and he can never sleep when all three of us are in the bed together) and said he would take her with him, seeing that I hadn't slept yet. But I said no, because I was wide awake anyways, and knew I would just lay there awake, listening for her. Ahh to be a mom, always aware of your kid's breathing patterns. He eventually came and crawled in with us anyways, because he also couldn't sleep, and felt worried about her. He would sing to her while I rubbed her back and they would both fall asleep, and I laid there awake, praying they would stay sleeping until morning, and asking God to help me figure out what to do! I don't want to be a panicky mom who just rushes to the doctor all the time... but when your kid has a fever and can't breathe, its a little nerve racking. This was the sad, sick girl Monday morning. I called Lois to talk it out with, and she right away said to take her in if she has a fever and is coughing that hard. Took her to Chemainus emerg, in and out so fast! He listened to her and told me she had croup. Oh man! He gave her some oxygen through the mask and that instantly opened her lungs and calmed her right down. He told me what to watch her, ways to help her, and when to bring her back in, if need be. Basically I just needed to wait it out!
By Tuesday, I thought there was improvement, but I was wrong. The tylenol was just masking the fever. Sigh. Fever's are the worst!! Her cough calmed down by then though and stopped sounding like a bark, and just more like a normal cough. But she was so docile and had no energy whatsoever.
We had gender split planned for that night, and I was supposed to be running a spa night for my youth girls! I was so conflicted because I knew I couldn't bring her with, but we didn't have anyone to leave her with. But I also couldn't leave the whole girls night up to Ashley to run on her own. Ahh! MOM YOU NEED TO MOVE HERE! I felt so bad, but I got Jon to call his mom and ask if she would be able to come up. I don't like doing that, because I know she doesn't like to come alone (I knew Tim was working) and she already babysits a lot, and I felt so bad! But we also didn't really have any other option. Calea was free and able to come with thankfully!!! Oh man, I was SO grateful!!! Best in law family EVER!!! Drive two hours and hang out with a sick kid and get home late. Pretty amazing! I had made these gift bags (while Jon was reading to her on his lunch break) and was ready to go for youth!!
I bought fancy (plastic) cups, and Candace made the girls special lemonade and cupcakes and they were totally spoiled! Each girl got a gift bag filled with spa goodies. It was so much fun to make and I loved seeing how excited they were about them!! I love these girls!!!!! Here is Hannah and Sabrina, the first to try out the foot soakers I bought! (more than half off at Walmart - only $14 each!)
Beautiful Ashley! I love youth leading with her
Doing nails! I still love that wall so much, it looks so fun. When this picture was taken, we were having quite the discussion about boys and boyfriends. I feel pretty privileged that I get to love these girls, and speak into their lives and that they listen to me. It's a big, beautiful responsibility.
Alli came for the night to help us lead and be an extra set of hands to paint nails and pamper the girls. We all always love when she is there, she is such a natural with these youth girls.
Having Lois at my home, taking care of Q, made it easy for me to really be at youth group. It the first time in months that I really felt involved again and like I could fully commit. It's hard to be 'present' when she's there too. But we don't have anyone who is able to watch her consistently on tuesday nights unfortunately. So that being said, I was VERY grateful to be at youth this night - it felt like one of those nights where the group just got closer. We bonded and we talked about real, tough stuff, and they opened up more about their lives and I was able to speak Truth to them. And because Q was home, and being well loved and taken care of, I was able to really focus on these teenage girls. It was really fun, with lots of laughs, and also just one of those nights that feels important.
My poor girl though was in rough shape back at home. When I got home, this is what I found - Cale and Q cuddled on the couch, watching Cinderella and Q dozing in and out. She looked SO sad SO sick. Calea is so tender and loving, the perfect person to have around when you are sick! So lucky girl, having her auntie's love for the night! They said she was really good, just so quiet and non-energetic. Very opposite of what is normal for her!
Later on when I went on Instagram, I saw that Calea had posted this. She is so cute, even when she's sick. Those red, heavy eye lids just hurt my heart! Thank you so much Lois and Calea for coming up and being with her so that I could be at youth group!
Wednesday morning, Jon was going to call in sick to work because he felt so bad leaving again. (he hates Tuesday/Wednesdays because he doesn't really see her at all). But I convinced him we were fine and that it was probably going to be a lazy, low key day and that was okay. So off he went, and this girl just kept on sleeping, snoring away. I was so happy to hear her snoring, because that meant that she was sleeping AND that she was getting more than enough air. Her fever, however, was still high, and we were still treating it with tylenol and cool baths/cloths. I was going to give it one more day and if it didn't break on its own, we were going back in.
When she did finally wake up, she flat out REFUSED to get out of bed. I tried to get her to come downstairs with me so that I could make us breakfast - she wanted a smoothie - and she just ignored me. She had to pee, and asked me to CARRY her to the bathroom - less than seven feet away! I told her no, and the defeated and exhausted look at her face changed my mind. I carried her to the bathroom and let her stay in bed. I turned on Paw Patrol for her, as per her request.
She let me get her dressed, and she drank her smoothie, but still refused to get out of bed. She looked at me with those heavy, sick eyes and said "I can't. I really tired mama". No way I was going to make her get out of bed after that!
Watching Finding Nemo together. I'm sitting, she's laying on my legs.
Oh that face. It's amazing to me how even as she grows, she still has such perfect lips and nose. But oh, those heavy, tired eyes!
Eventually she wanted all her clothes off again, because she likes to be naked as it is, and she was just so hot. So I took them off and she fell back sleep again for a nap.
I know, so many pictures of the sick kid. These shouldn't be memories that I want to remember, she was hurting so much. But I do, because I love that I am able to be here with her, loving on her and nursing her and watching over her while she sleeps. Being a mom is something I always assumed I would be bad at. I didn't think I had any mothering instincts. And while I know full well that I am not the best mom out there, I love her so much more than I ever thought possible. And I receive so much joy from taking care of her. Quinny, this was a hard week, and we were both pretty exhausted. But we also spent a TON of time together - I called in sick to work, because I didn't have anyone to leave you with, and really, I didn't want to leave you. We hung out together in bed and giggled and watched movies and I rubbed your back and you cuddled into me. I love that right now, at this stage, you find so much comfort from me rubbing your back and being close to you. These are the moments that are bonding us, shaping and cementing our relationship.
Later that evening, once Jon got home, we knew she was feeling better because she came downstairs finally, and went to find the cat and right away went to jump on the couch to be beside him. She told Jon all about our day in bed watching movies, and just seemed to have more energy. Yay!
She slept solidly that night, THANK GOODNESS! Croup, YOU SUCK!
And then Care sent me this which I loved! This is the jacket we bought Madi for her birthday and I guess she totally loves it! AWESOME!!! You are so cute Madi May and we love you!
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